FEEDING THE SPIRIT
“We have the choice to take what is bad in our lives and use it for good.”
I’m grateful for the things that Dad and I had. My dad was a reserved, quiet kind of guy. A number of years ago, I told him, “I really need to hear ‘I love you’ a little more.” I’m grateful that came out near the end of his life.
And I’m grateful we had more time than I expected. Dad had a quadruple bypass when he was 56. I could have lost him then.
I miss him terribly. I’m grateful for having the space to express all this. And for people—especially in the pastoral music community—who have been willing to listen and share with me. Collective grief moments give us all a chance to connect with each other.
Mary Margaret Mother of four and Music Director at
a small urban parish in Ohio
I grew up in a small town in the 90s, with a brother who has autism. Not enough was known about how to treat a patient with autism, and people blamed my mother; she blamed herself. My brother started acting out, threatening other kids, threatening our family. He was placed on house arrest a couple of times; he was in the Juvenile Detention Center for a while. My mother had to make a heartbreaking decision—she released custody to the state.
Tis tore her apart. She entered a deep depression. She started drinking and gambling. One night, she came home drunk, lost her balance, and fell down our basement stairs. Te coroner said she died instantly of a fractured skull. She was 54.
I admit, gratitude was not the first emotion I experienced. But we have the choice to take what is bad in our lives and use it for good. It’s taken a lot of time and therapy, but I’m grateful for a number of things.
I’m grateful for the ways we have been able to move forward. My kids know what happened. Tey know my brother by his voice when he calls, and they got to meet him last year. I hope by sharing these experiences openly, they can learn compassion and be more informed about healthy and unhealthy ways to deal with life’s frustrations.
I’m also grateful for the opportunities I have been given to grow since my mother died. She always had a certain disdain for the Church. I married a Catholic, and our lives have been blessed and enriched by our faith. I am able to raise my kids in a faith-filled home and not have to worry about how my choices might affect my mom.
When I practiced the piano, she would critique and criticize. But I guess good work ethic and punctuality and drive and passion are not such bad traits to pass on to a child, and, every once in a while, I catch myself looking to the heavens and thanking her for helping me be who I am.
Meredith Augustin Performing artist and Director of Music,
St. Francis of Assisi, Midtown Manhattan
I’ve been a fan of Leon Roberts since I heard his Mass of St. Augustine in high school. But I didn’t meet him until 1996, when I was invited to join a friend for Gospel choir rehearsal. Leon was the director. At the end of rehearsal, my friend had me sing “Mary’s Canticle” for him. By the end, he was weeping. Tere was this magical transaction between the two of us. We became friends, and I was able to do some studio work with him.
Ten he became very ill with stomach cancer. Tat last December, we did music for a mutual friend’s first Mass as a priest. In early January, I got a call that Leon was on life support, and they were taking him off.
I was privileged to be at his bedside when he had his final moments here on earth. His music was playing, and we were singing to him. It was such a poignant moment. Leon was a beautiful thread that had been woven through my life from the time I was a teenager.
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