NOVEMBER 2022
In the case of St. Rose parish, there was already a tradition of music commonly chosen for funeral celebrations. Charlotte simply built on that, with an eye to tailoring the selections for each part of the Mass to what is most appropriate, not only in terms of content, but also in spirit and in length.
When developing your lists of songs, think about the prayers and texts of those moments in the liturgy in the Order of Christian Funerals, and choose hymns that reflect and echo those texts. Learn about the songs traditionally used by your parish at those moments and be sure to include them. For example, there may be families of Polish heritage; incorporate Polish- language hymns that they know into your lists, or at least keep some in your back pocket. Te same with families with Mexican or Puerto Rican heritage. (You may have to be prepared to learn something new if they request a piece of music in their language.) If you want to introduce new or unfamiliar songs into your lists for funerals, think about the ways and times you can establish them in your parish’s Sunday liturgies so that they will become a familiar part of your parish’s repertoire. When it comes to funerals, people will choose songs that they know and that speak to them from their experience.
Using the Guide
Tere is likely no ministry in which the emphasis in “pastoral musician” is more on “pastoral” than when we prepare for funerals. For Charlotte, the time that she spends with the family “is not always about the music. When they call, I just go into ‘funeral mode.’ I take them the booklet with the readings and a hymnbook. But I do a lot more than just the four hymns.” Charlotte talks to the family, asks questions to learn more about the deceased, and tries to set the family at ease. “I feel that I can provide some hope and beauty,” she says. With her own husband having passed away barely a year ago, she shares her experience if she feels it will help.
When it comes to the hymns and songs, the lists in the guide are only the starting point. Charlotte makes it clear that she is at the service of the family: “If it’s in our hymnal, we can do it.” She does not believe in cookie- cutter funeral liturgies. “I try to make each one unique.” She does this by working to establish a relationship
“Working with the family in such a positive way is respectful of their feelings and can be an opportune moment for evangelization.”
with the family, so that she can really listen for their needs. It helps, she says, to have been in the parish a long time. She knows the people, and they know her. In her opinion, one of the best things a pastoral musician can do in starting at a new parish is to get to know the parishioners. Once you get to know the people in a parish, “you’re not ministering to strangers.”
Tere are situations when the family is not up to choosing the music. “Sometimes they say, ‘You pick.’ So then I make suggestions.” But because she has been present to the family and listened to their story, she feels that she is still able to tailor her music choices so that this funeral celebration expresses what the family and parish community need most right now.
As useful as a guide can be, it will not be able to cover all eventualities. You will have to be prepared to supplement the list with other suggestions of your own that strike you as fitting for this occasion. Charlotte suggests that one often-overlooked musical possibility is to take advantage of the liturgical season. What music from Advent, or Lent, or Easter Time might be suitable at those times of year for this particular funeral celebration? Tis is still another way to make the liturgy unique to this family, this person, and the parish community at this time.
Although their guide booklet is careful to point out that the music chosen is to be appropriate to the rite and for use in church, there are times when families propose music that is not so fitting. Charlotte has found that the best approach is to redirect the family’s enthusiasm to a more appropriate time. “Just imagine how nice it would be for the trumpet to be playing that after the casket leaves the church and is brought out to the
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