NOVEMBER 2022
In addition, by giving materials in advance, any unpleasant family dynamics regarding what will be best can be dealt with before the meeting. Having these things prepared may take some time and effort, but may pay off big-time when the need arises.
Collaboration with the bereavement ministry helps them in putting the program and other efforts into place as well. Other questions to consider may be: What instrument best suits this celebration based on the music? Cantor or choir or both? What language(s) is/are involved? Are there cultural concerns to consider? Do we allow family members to help with the music, reading, or other ministries for the Mass? Do we allow them to bring up the gifts at the Offertory? What are the qualifications needed? Are materials to be sent to the family in advance? Again, the more we can help them before the encounter in planning, the more pastoral the outcome can be, and the more the family will feel cared for.
Tis leads to the idea of having on occasion a workshop on “preplanning your funeral,” an opportunity to understand the Rite of the Mass of Resurrection. Te music choices and guidelines as to who can assist at the funeral Mass can be gone over in advance in a non- crisis moment. Questions about particular concerns can be addressed in this format. When the time comes to do the final planning, most of the work is done, and the meeting with the family can focus on pastoral care.
As I reflect on the evangelization potential of funeral planning, I realize that we prepare for other significant moments in parish life, such as Baptism, Confirmation, First Eucharist, and weddings, but many of our parishes do little in terms of preparing the community for a funeral event. All of the funeral planning happens in a very short period of time with many decisions being made with little education or preparation.
All of these events can be evangelizing moments. Tink of what we do in preparation for Baptism. Te parents and godparents go through some form of formation and education regarding the sacrament and its purpose in the Christian life. We are reminded that we begin the journey of faith with God and become one of God’s own in Baptism. All present are reminded of their roles and their contributions to the success of this journey of the individual to be baptized. Te Church in general is reminded of our role in the
“As we know, music has the power to heal, to bring peace, and to unify those gathered to celebrate. ”
formation and the life of the baptized. In the beginning of funeral Mass, we are reminded of this very fact in the Introductory Rites as we remember the Baptism of the deceased.
So too, it is important for all of us to know what we celebrate at the funeral Mass—what the elements are and how we can prepare for the celebration in advance. We do not know the day or the hour we will die, but we can plan ahead for how the celebration may occur. As ministers of music and liturgy, we can assist the community to know and prepare and, in a real way, to connect the dots of our faith journey as we assist the family of a loved one who has died.
Tose of us with very busy schedules may find this aspect of the ministry challenging and time- consuming. I offer the thought that this form of ministry can be one which brings others back to the Church, reinforces the goodness of the Church, and aids others in their journey of grief. As we know, music has the power to heal, to bring peace, and to unify those gathered to celebrate. How we approach a funeral will help us in the overall mission of the parish and the Church at large regarding evangelization and discipleship. If we take a legalistic approach to preparing the funeral, we run the risk of doing the opposite of what the intent may be. We need to remember that we as ministers hold resources that enable the family of the deceased to grieve and that allow them to participate in the planning and perhaps assist at the celebration. If we are welcoming, open, and loving in our approach, the family will feel heard and cared for and may want to continue to develop a relationship with the Church. We can bring so much to the family to help them toward a positive, prayerful, and joyful experience of Church in all that
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