I DON’T KNOW
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Some people have always known they wanted to be a veterinarian. Not me. At first, I
wanted to be a horse trainer, then a marketing executive, then an en- vironmental engineer, and then finally a veterinarian. Usually sharing this progression incites a few confused looks, but this journey is one I would take all over again. Tere is a power in not knowing what you want to do, as it gives you an opportunity to explore and become confident in your decision.
As a child, I wanted to be a horse trainer. After a summer of train- ing horses, I found my love for being around horses every day, but it lacked the human connection I was looking for. When I applied to the University of Kentucky for undergraduate, I wanted to work in marketing. I enjoyed educating others and could visualize a successful career dedicated to influencing purchasing patterns and working collaboratively with a diverse team. Unfortunately, I found that I needed to be able to problem solve every day in order to be properly mentally stimulated and marketing didn’t offer that to me in the way I had hoped. Once I moved into engineering, I quickly realized environmental engineering often involved sitting at a desk. As someone who rarely sits still, that was not feasible for me. Terefore, I decided to combine my love for animals, passion for teaching, and my problem-solving skills. Tis led me to veterinary medicine.
I know veterinary medicine is my calling, because I have tried a lot, failed at more, and anticipate doing so for the rest of my life. I plan on continuing explore new things and be open to the experience it gives me. Tis journey gave me the opportunity to find out what did not work for me and what was not right for my life. It allowed me to explore and come to a confident conclusion with a career in veterinary medicine.
Now that I am in veterinary medicine, the options are endless. Again, we are asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Again, I don’t know. I honestly don’t. For a while, and even now in weak moments, that feels terrible. It is difficult to adapt to change. When I switched majors in undergraduate, I felt like a failure every time I decided a path was not for me. It is scary now being in the same position. People like definitive decisions, and it is disheartening to not be able to live up to that expectation.
Around me, peers know and have known exactly what they wish to do with their lives, what jobs they want, and where they will live. Sometimes I wonder if they know, or if they feel the pressure I feel to decide. May- be we set such unattainable goals for ourselves and instead of being alright with the unknown, we reach for something and cling on. Te pressure of choosing a career comes with your application and interview into veterinary school, and many students have not had the ability to explore and experience all veterinary med- icine has to offer. At some point, most of us will switch specialties, clinics, or locations. While we would like to think our decisions are definite, it is difficult to prepare for the unknown.
We are pressured into figuring out our lives before they have begun, but it’s okay not to know. By admitting the unknown, we can learn and grow. I believe that ability is what makes some people great practitioners. Te ability to tell your clients what you are confident in or not confident in en- ables clients to trust you. Tey know regardless of your pride, peer pressure, or society that you put them and the patient above all. In clinical uncer- tainty, we can find the art of veterinary medicine. Tere is great power in “I don’t know.”
20 KVMA News
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