selves. The sand tray provided visual cues about their protective authentic personas. I showed interest without being judgmental, which, generally, was a new experience for the clients. Verbally noting that the jewelry and the mirror were particularly interesting to the client helped them recognize that this behavior was okay, and not opportunities for judgment or ridicule. Several clients also displayed hand gestures that the therapist imitated and incorporated in session while engaging in play therapy with the client. This verbal recognition and behavioral mirroring helped to promote and gain the trust of each client.
My Clients Seven natal male clients, six Caucasian, one African American, ranging in age from four to nine years, participated in play therapy with the present author for six to 11 weeks. One child was enrolled in preschool, and the other six in elementary school. Parental concerns centered a sister’s clothes, playing with dolls, wanting to play with girls, and dressing as a girl. Parental questions focused on whether the behaviors (Green & Maurer, 2015). An essential part of the treatment was keeping parents informed and assured.
The family
therapy sessions brought out more nuanced
characterizations of the different environments in which the child clients were living. For example, one parent fully supported their child being interested in or expressing themselves as a girl. The other six families’ parents expressed a range of emotions from curiosity to ambivalence about their male child being interested in acting like a girl. Two families had both mother and father present for family therapy; father chose not to participate in therapy.
In play therapy sessions, each of the clients recognized that they adults. Clients described various names or actions displayed by other microaggressions Isom (2016) offered, or unintentional everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs, or insults that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages (Lui & Quezada, 2019).
Parent narratives spoke of humiliation directed at ridicule, intimidation, anger, the clients by peers, and relatives, and some Family therapy provides a
deeper understanding of how the family system operates and how their gender-variant child
influences the relationships of all family members.
During initial stages of therapy, the author used SFT (Sheehan & Friedlander, 2015; Watzlawick et al., 1967) to help parents understand that exploration of other genders is normal for many children, and that exploration does not control the trajectory of how a child will develop their authentic self (Yunger et al., 2004). Behavior/communication are the same. Children revealing their gender exploration to their parents communicates that they trust that their behavior will not be seen in terms of rejection, condemnation, or anger. SFT is especially effective in exploring the relationships between all members of the family, which is at the heart of the inquiry. It also allows for investigating how the client’s desire to be and act as a girl affects the relationships of all family members in the family system. SFT also provides an opportunity for parents and other family members to adopt a more charitable view of the child and their motivations, and to dramatically reduce the use (Fraser & Solovey, 2007).
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teachers. During family therapy, the African American parent spoke of the additional burdens of institutional racism and a very strict heteronormative behavioral hierarchy for African American males (Society for Adolescent Health and Medicine, 2007). The parents were surprised by the persistence displayed by their natal boys in wanting to be, act like, dress as, or play with girls. The six families that displayed curiosity to ambivalence about their male child being like a girl reported varying degrees of tolerance for their male child engaging in girl-like activities while in the home. In the seventh family, the client immediately changed into being a girl as soon as he got home from school, and the parent fully supported the child’s wish to be and act as a girl.
Several of the clients developed coping skills that enabled them to engage in activities designed to mitigate threats to their wellbeing. These
included gaming, achieving excellence in school,
and
participating in athletics. Perhaps the most useful coping skill home.
Conclusion For play therapists, working with gender-variant children requires an entirely different worldview. It is also highly important that the parent’s and caregivers be closely attuned with the client’s therapy. Family therapy provides a deeper understanding of how the family system operates and how their gender-variant child influences the relationships of all family members.
A prerequisite to working with gender-variant children and their families requires each therapist
to undergo a rigorous self-examination of their prejudices, assumptions, and common-sense understandings
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