SEPTEMBER 2020
When the pandemic hit, and as we watched event after event close down and go virtual, this amazing team of women was already deep into the planning of the second annual Women’s Retreat, which was meant to take place as part of the NPM National Convention in Louisville, KY. Once the convention shifted to its all- virtual format, the team had to pivot quickly to the new online delivery method, and in so doing they crafted a rich and powerful experience for the women who attended. Te week after the retreat they were willing to sit down with me (via Zoom, of course), and in an hour-long conversation they shared their experience and wisdom—not just about the retreat, but about their perspectives of being women and ministers in the Church.
JKB: Let’s start with the experience of the retreat itself. What was it like presenting remotely? What was the experience like for you?
Sarah: I’ll start—Te day when we first practiced as a team, everyone silenced themselves and turned off their cameras and I felt so alone. It was so disconcerting, and really hard! I miss people— being with people, hearing them sing, seeing their reactions, seeing their faces—I really miss it. It’s brought home to me how much I love people and how much I love doing ministry. On the other hand, this experience made me thank God for technology. Because of it, we can still be together, and encourage and pray for each other, even while physically apart. Te Lord will not be stopped by anything—technology issues or a pandemic.
Kate: Sarah, I was thinking of you in that practice and how it felt—you said out loud, “I feel totally alone,” and we unmuted to say “we’re here, we're listening!” so you would not feel so isolated. It was way harder to do that in the actual retreat.
Janèt: I agree —there was that profound sense of, “if a woman talks in the forest, did she really talk? It was strange . . . ”
Berta: But then once we had been live for a few minutes, the women started commenting in the chat, asking questions and responding to the music. Seeing
that made me feel like we were really connecting with them, and it reminded us that we weren’t alone. From that moment I had this wonderful letting-go feeling, like God saying, okay, you have to take a breath and let me do my work. You’ve done everything you possibly can do and now you have to let it go. And then for three hours after Tursday’s event I had this wonderful feeling of peace and calm.
Kate: I didn’t have that sense until Saturday, partly I think because it was a longer session, and I had time to enter in more fully—and we had had more time under our belt, so the technical things occupied less brain space. Also, I realized just as we were going live at the start of the retreat that I hadn’t done anything about dinner. So all the way through the first day I was thinking, “I’m going to have to make dinner . . . what can I make in 45 minutes?” Te juxtaposition of family life on retreat was . . . surreal.
Janèt: Tat reminds me of my discernment a couple of years ago that I needed to leave full time ministry. At some point I realized that sometimes I would go weeks on end managing the liturgy, and not feeling able to enter into the prayer. I remember the experiences I used to have going on retreat with the staff—we would be in the wine country and they were all walking around meditating while I was in the copy room planning the retreat prayer services. I was always Martha rather than Mary—and during Sarah’s talk on Friday I got that moment of being Mary, sitting and listening and opening myself to it.
Berta: I think finding balance and constantly readjusting is one of the hardest things we have to do as women. We so often find ourselves leaning on our gift of multi-tasking. We manage kids’ schedules, our own schedules, getting lunch, taking a phone call, going to the grocery store, caring for a sick relative . . . we are expected to be able to multi-task. We’re living in a world where everyone is told, “be self-aware, don’t overburden yourself, don’t burn out”—but how do we get to a place where we won’t work ourselves to exhaustion? I think there are certain parts of life where you don’t stop to hear the voice of God until you hit that wall.
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