APRIL 2021
Asking for this kind of help is not always easy. It may make us feel vulnerable and weak. Yet, most people would love to feel helpful and needed. When we deny the people who care about us the opportunity to offer their help and support, we isolate ourselves from meaningful connection with them. Each time you give or receive help—be it a favor, a kind word, affirmation, or advice—in a mutually supportive relationship, the bond of friendship grows stronger. Asking for help and graciously receiving it opens the door to deep and lasting friendships.
3. Be mindful about what brings you joy. It is important to periodically evaluate the things that fill your proverbial cup, to be mindful about the people and things in your life that bring you joy and how they meet or deny our yearnings—the desires God has placed within our hearts. Be mindful about what and who you allow in your life, and how much space you allow them to occupy. Sometimes we do things because we think they make us happy or because we think they should make us happy; however, over time, as we change, the particular things that bring us happiness may also change. When we attempt to fill ourselves with the wrong things, it’s like filling a bucket with a hole in the bottom. Tese things do not last. Tey cannot fill us. Instead, we will be better served if we look for things that provide us with lasting peace and true joy. If you aren’t sure what those things are for you, then it’s worth giving it time in prayer and discernment.
4. Practice gratitude. Practicing gratitude is essential to developing burnout resiliency. Every moment of every day holds something to be thankful for: the air we breathe, another day to live and love, the beauty of nature, the opportunity to express ourselves, to create, to connect with others. Every single moment, every single thing is a gift, but it’s easy to lose sight of that when we are focused on what we do not have. When we are aware of the abundance of goodness that surrounds us, we become better able to experience lasting joy and gratitude derived simply from being, and to mirror the love of God to all we meet.
“ The more I am able to extend this simple grace to myself, the more I am capable of doing the same for others.”
5. Extend grace to yourself & others. Tis has been a difficult, frustrating, and challenging time for many of us. Speaking for myself, I have sometimes handled things well, and sometimes I have been less than the best version of myself. I remind myself daily that it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay that I don’t have it figured out, yet. Te more I am able to extend this simple grace to myself, the more I am capable of doing the same for others. Te less time and energy I spend persecuting myself, the more able I am to reach out with love and concern to others and focus on the good things all around me. Tis kind of self-care is so much more than bubble baths, naps, and other little indulgences. It is learning to live more fully into our identity as beloved, fearfully-and- wonderfully-made children of God.
With these tools in your belt, I hope you will be able to view burnout as more than something to fear, avoid, or simply overcome; it can be a valuable sign that something is out of balance in your life, that it is time to pause and reflect, time to let go, time to let something die so that new life can rise from the ashes.
Jessica Koch is a busy mom of two school-aged boys, and serves as the Director of Music Ministries for St. John of the Cross Parish in Western Springs, Illinois, a vibrant suburban parish in the Archdiocese of Chicago. She
is an active member of NPM, having served both locally as the founding Chapter Director of the Chicago chapter, and nationally as a member of the Council and various task forces and committees.
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