Too & More
a politician belongs in the same conversation as the woman who was assaulted by a producer. I side with Rose McGowan and Alyssa Mila- no, but I side with Mayim Bialik and Matt Damon, too. For a while I wondered, had it all gone too far? But as the discussion has continued to evolve, I’ve decided some-
thing. Sometimes you need the chaos to create real social change. Sometimes collective heads have to roll before you can back up and say, with sincerity, “How do we sort this out?” For the purposes of IAVM and this article, I have found my voice What I really think is at the heart of this movement, in general, is
power. The abuse that’s been chroni- #MeToo supporters, and the injus- tices that many have endured may not actually be an issue of gender. I think let’s face it, men have long held most of the power. Not to mention that one in two women today report they’ve been sexually harassed in the work- place. So sorry, guys, you’re naturally catching the brunt of this, but gender aside, most of these storylines - other and that person choosing to abuse his or her authority. our membership: Never ever use your position to gain favors, be it sexual, political, material, or otherwise. It makes things blurry, and frankly, it’s unethi-
cal. Think critically about the example you want to set for others, espe- cially those just starting out in their career. Be aware of how you work a room, and don’t use your position to intimidate. Do you want to part the sea like Moses? Or do you want to exude a more natural and powerful presence without being threatening? You can still command a team, an audience, or a room with grace, no matter your gender. Never ever, ever, ever take advantage of someone over whom you
It should be obvious that blatant violence and cruelty has no place in our industry, but let me take it a step further. Even if you think an and critically evaluate the situation with a clear head. Unless you can read minds, you don’t know how another may interpret your words or actions. If you hold power over someone and use that to your ad- vantage, you may cause personal and professional struggles you don’t even realize. These situations cause a mess of emotions and often lead to lasting questions about leadership, honesty, integrity, and obligation. Don’t put that on another; don’t put that on yourself. Now a message for my Association sisters: During a recent conference, I engaged in conversation with a wom-
an at one of the events. I shared with her that I had just started a new and talented women in big roles at our venue. I expressed to her that, was really feeling the full gravity and responsibility behind that. I now believed it was my duty to help teach, support, and shape these young women into successful industry powerhouses, and it both excited and scared me.
As I told her this she replied, “Oh wow, how are you handling that?
“The truth is I really don’t like women.” In this #MeToo era, I was shell- shocked. Yet, thinking about it later, I
realized I had heard this many times, and had even perpetuated it myself.”
The truth is I really don’t like women.” In this #MeToo era, I was shell-shocked. Yet, thinking about it later, I realized I had heard this many times, and had even perpetuated it myself. I’d said things in the past like, “I make friends with guys so much easier than girls,” or, “I get along with the men at work so much better than the women.” Was that true? Was I so conditioned to think that being “one of the guys” was su- perior to fostering relationships with the women around me? I determined that was only part of the problem. The major hurdle I had come across, that had prevented me from forming strong bonds of sisterhood, was fear of ridicule. I thought about the times - reer, where I’d felt most scorned, and
in each instance, it was women who’d made me feel that way. Women I wanted to trust and depend on and who could have found a more constructive way to advise me. We have got to be better advocates for one another, and not just in a VenueConnect, “Women in Leadership,” kind of way. I mean, truly, sincerely and honestly supportive of one another, free from judgment and distrust. Enough with the gossip, de- rision and competition; we have to be better. The stage is set for us
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