sitting and looking at the toys.” Rachel might respond: “Isn’t that boring for her?” Therapist: “Possibly, Rachel. But Miri will decide if and when she feels like playing.” Or clarifying: “Rachel, I can’t tell Miri what to play. In her class, the teacher tells the children what to do. But I’m not a teacher. I’m a play lady in this special playroom. Here, Miri will decide what she feels like doing.” The implicit messages to the child are many and nuanced. The puppet dialogue creates a more comfortable triad (therapist – puppet – child client) for reflection and interaction, whereas, without a puppet, therapeutic options remain dyadic (therapist – child) and perhaps even predictable or prosaic.
Although girls express anger, my experience is more frequently that little boys enter loaded with energy and aggression. The therapist-puppet dialogue enables a safe distance in handling the child’s aggression, helps the child internalize reflections about feelings more readily, and helps neutralize power struggles with which aggressive children are painfully familiar. Sammy to the rescue with reflective comments: “Joey has tons of power today! Shoshana, do you think Joey might be upset? He’s hitting Bobo hard!” Sammy helps me tease out the nuances of the child’s aggression. Is aggression rooted in anger? Sadness? Through therapist- puppet dialogue, the therapist can reaffirm acceptance of angry feelings, redirect anger to safe outlets, and therapeutically set limits.
Deepening Therapeutic Processes In the depth of therapeutic process, Sammy and Rachel have been indispensable in assisting the children with the expression of their
conflicting feelings, as the puppets adopt the roles of antagonist or protagonist. As antagonists, puppets may argue with me – constructively – to help the child. Sammy: “Don’t you understand anything, Shoshana?! Joey is sad!” Or, puppets oppose the child while actually serving as child protagonist. Joey: “You’re stupid, Sammy. You never get it right!” Sammy: “Not true! Maybe I’m not as smart as you are but remember I’m just a kid. I’m trying my best. Like you, I’m not stupid and I’m not bad!”
The child is revealing the criticism to which he or she may be exposed, or revealing self-doubts or self-hate projected onto the puppet. In dialogue with the child, Sammy performs a crucial role. By opposing the insults through projection, Sammy stands up for the struggling positive self of the child. As an object toward which young clients can project and discharge their frustration, anger, and aggression, Sammy has been stomped on, choked, drowned, beaten, bitten, hidden, punished, abandoned, bound in handcuffs, sent to jail without food, and told he’s not loved. Such play reflects children’s hurt and anger. It raises questions about where imagination ends and where the child’s own endangered experience may begin. Meanwhile, of course, I’m standing up for Sammy (and, by proxy, the child’s wounded self), expressing the child’s fragile hope that he is of worth in the face of a scary and hurtful world.
When I feel awkward or stilted in my reflective responses or sense that I am missing something during challenging conversations, the puppets “dialogue” with me to help fine tune what is transpiring.
Rachel: “It can be really scary in the dark. Shoshana, you forgot that Miri might be scared at night.” Therapist: “Thanks for reminding me, Rachel.”
Or, therapist: “Sammy, if your dad got hurt badly in a car accident, how would you feel?” Sammy, in a tremulous whisper: “It would be really hard to talk about it. Do I have to say?” Therapist: “No, Sammy, you don’t have to. But talking helps you feel better inside, because then you aren’t so alone with all those feelings.” Sammy, thinking: “OK. I’ll tell you one thing. I would feel sad and mad mixed together. That’s all I’m saying today!” Therapist: “It takes courage to say that, Sammy.”
By asking me questions, puppets enable me to step back, consider, reframe, or even correct an in-session error. However, I marvel most at my puppets’ ability to help me when I feel stuck or sense that I’m missing something. I may suddenly ask a puppet: “What do you think?” So often, my puppet assistant seems to find the right words for the situation when I had failed! Rachel and Sammy are often able to speak from a more fluid, intuitive place when I had been struggling to figure things out.
Most young clients love interventions that include the puppets helping them express and clarify their thoughts and feelings, sometimes verbally, sometimes by participating in the child’s play metaphor. Naturally, some children find puppets too “babyish” or “stupid.” I usually respect the child’s wishes. Yet sometimes children who initially say, “You’re talking for him!!” later express great affection for Sammy or Rachel. When uncertain
12 | PLAYTHERAPYMarch 2020 |
www.a4pt.org
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