Case Illustration A 13-year-old client slouched in a chair and refused to speak. She grunted. She moaned. She whined about the hardship of being in the room. Her parents described her with labels like rebellious, uncooperative, stubborn, and rude. I looked at her through eyes of wonder and saw something different.
added, “I like how you ask for what you want directly.” Her mother was surprised to see us so early and asked how it went. I replied, “Great! In directly for what she wants. She is choosing to leave now. I look forward power.
Both mother and daughter looked at me in surprise. Her mother stood up to leave. Her daughter sat still and stared at the floor. Her mother discussion and laughter.
Over the next few months, I focused on seeing and encouraging her the “problem” child. She would often smirk and look to the side or even stick her tongue out at me. Rather than take offense, I played with her, “Oh, just say, ‘I don’t want to and you can’t make me!’ ” while crossing my arms and sticking my tongue back out at her. As I demonstrated directly, she gradually showed less resistance and defense. Eventually, she talked about the vulnerable feelings underneath her anger.
One day, she talked about how much she misses her mother. She opened up about feeling awkward while her younger sister was still cute. She perceived that her younger sister was loved more. “I’m the bad one. her. “I’m a bit of both,” she said. After a pause, she added, “so is she.” I told her, “You’re very insightful.” She replied, “I am,” surprising me as she owned a positive attribute.
I invited the family in for a session focused on emotional literacy. I wanted to make sure they all had the same information that I was giving my client about feelings. During emotional literacy sessions, I discuss feeling happy, sad, mad, and scared. I invite each family member to act out each emotion. During the session, I noticed the mother’s laughter as she embodied anger. I probed a bit, and she admitted that her mother never allowed her to show anger as a child. The conversation went deeper as I prompted further: “Because …” From a vulnerable place, she shared, “I had to take care of her.” I acknowledged her underlying need, “I bet you really needed her to be there for you.” She replied, “I did.”
26 | PLAYTHERAPY March 2019 |
www.a4pt.org
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