The Gentler Sex


ELAINE DEVUSSER Women’s Ministries President


to carry my luggage or open doors for me. This was, to me, an unneces- sary act of kindness; one to be turned away in pride because I was able to do these things myself. However, as I resisted and assured him that I was capable, I saw a very visible and ever growing frustration. This struck me and embarrassed me.


After all,


dence of the understanding of the dif- ferences between men and women, and a call to protection, tenderness, and respect. As it is now, this is not al- ways a positive moniker for women. I was influenced just enough by the after-effects of the sexual revolution at a young age to come to understand that I didn’t at all want to be identi- fied as the weaker sex. I thought that if I were to allow a male to do some- thing for me that I was perfectly ca- pable of doing for myself, I would be in some way betraying the truth and would appear weak and helpless. My father had been and is still always sure to behave chivalrously towards me, but in my eyes, those were the acts of a father and an outpouring of his duty towards a daughter. And, I am certain that I had convinced my husband that I “could do.” Then I had the pleasure of working alongside a young intern at the ARP church where I was a member. For anonymity’s sake let’s call him Bill Blackman. Bill had been taught well by his grandmother and was every bit the gentleman that he ought to have been. I had small children at the time and he sought to assist me as we trav- elled to youth retreats. As a gentleman, Bill would seek


I


n another time, the gentler sex descriptor for women would have been a compliment, evi-


we do not like to cause one another needless frustration and the disap- pointment of a respected brother or sister in Christ is a motivator and a cause for reflection. I soon realized that he felt strongly about behaving in the gentlemanly manner which he had been taught and that I was keeping him from it. I understood that his efforts were kind and good and not at all a statement towards my abilities. Men are, after all, intended by God to be protectors, providers, and wise leaders. I began to see that the women at


the retreats understood that the pat- tern for marriage and the headship of the husband, extended to the church and meant that women were submis- sive to the leading of the elders. In- stead of franticly grasping for power or glory, these women gladly, hap- pily, and sweetly sought to do that which they understood that they were uniquely created to do. It was and is still a beautiful thing. They truly are the gentler sex. I have sadly, and with great dis- heartening, come to see that this is not the case throughout the denomina- tion. Where there could be a joyful ac- ceptance and appreciation of the roles that God ordained, there is instead, a competitiveness and a struggle for power left over from the movement to liberate women. Such a movement should be unnecessary. Women who have trusted in Christ for salvation are never freer than we are when we


are enabled to live and relate with our husbands and the leaders in our churches in the way that God intend- ed. We are then free to serve, give, and love in the way that only the gen- tler sex is able. This is a blessing and a joy!


Our vision statement for Women’s Ministries declares that we seek to con- nect women that we might minister together for God’s glory and purpose. I have been present as women talked as though the men of the denomina- tion are incapable of leading well, and I have been told that the men are not able to make a good decision without our help. Desires for usurping the leadership role intended for men are not at all glorifying to the God who created us to work together and, with our strengths, fill in the weak areas of the other (the beauty of the helpmate and the duty of image bearers). In- stead, these desires point to the idol that our own glory has become. We sing and teach our children


that trusting in the Lord and obeying him is the only way to be truly happy in Jesus. This is true and is some- thing that we need to be reminded of as well. Because of the world around us, being content in our God- ordained gender roles can be a con- sistent struggle. We must pray, and learn to gratefully enjoy the benefits of this obedience.?


Knowing, loving, serving, Jesus ARPWM knowing, loving, serving, Jesus September/October 2019 19


Women’s Ministries


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