TEAM BUILDER The Cost of Keeping Quiet
> Avoiding a difficult conversation may feel like the easiest way to preserve workplace harmony. In reality, it often allows frustration, gossip and costly mis- takes to continue. “When we don’t talk, the employee
doesn’t know,” said Lori Wilson, PFCI, of Flower Clique during “The Conversation You’re Not Having (But Should Be)” at the Society of American Florists’ 141st convention in Amelia Island, Florida. “They keep repeating the behavior.” Unaddressed conflict can also reach
beyond the team. Employees notice when leaders allow problems to persist, and customers can sense the resulting tension. Wilson recalled entering a boutique where employees were loudly discussing workplace drama while the manager remained silent. The uncom- fortable atmosphere changed Wilson’s perception of the business — and she left without making a purchase. “The conversations inside your store
become your experience outside the store,” she said.
Prepare Feedback To prepare for a productive conversation, Wilson recommended the FIRE frame- work: facts, interpretation, reaction and end result. Start by writing down the verifiable facts, then identify how you are
interpreting them, your emotional reac- tion and the outcome you want. Before speaking with the employee,
however, set aside the interpretation and reaction and return to the facts. People can interpret the same circumstances differently, Wilson explained, and enter- ing a conversation with assumptions — such as believing an employee is careless or will become defensive — can intensify the conflict. Consider a designer who repeatedly
ignores recipes and overfills arrange- ments. The facts might include the number of extra stems used, substitutions made and how frequently the problem occurred. Rather than assuming the designer does not care about profitability, a manager could ask whether the recipes are unclear or viewed as suggestions.
Deliver Feedback Wilson also shared the IDEALS frame- work for delivering feedback: invite the employee into the conversation, disarm tension, eliminate blame, affirm the employee’s positive choices or abili- ties, list the feedback and synchronize your understanding before ending the discussion. A manager might begin by asking,
“Would you be willing to talk with me about how we’re using
arrangement recipes?” Offering a con- trolled choice — such as talking now or later that afternoon — can help lower the employee’s defenses. Next, explain the facts and their
business impact. Acknowledge that the designer wants arrangements to look full and beautiful, while making clear that additional or more expensive flowers increase costs and undermine consis- tency. Then ask how the two of you can protect the recipe’s value while produc- ing a design everyone is proud to send. The key is approaching the conver-
sation with genuine curiosity, Wilson said. “Can you help me understand what you’re seeing from your perspective?” is more likely to produce an honest discus- sion than an accusatory “Why did you do that?” Kindness does not mean abandoning
accountability. Managers can create psychological safety while maintaining clear standards — and addressing prob- lems before they damage the team, the customer experience or the business.
Amanda Jedlinsky is the senior director of content and communications for the Society of American Florists and the ed- itor in chief of Floral Management.
The magazine of the Society of American Florists (SAF)
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