Where did that come from? You were just discussing
housekeeping and now someone thinks you’re an ugly goat? How do you lead now that you’re in such an absurd conflict? Anytime decisions need to be made, conflict can and
oſten will arise. Even in Christian camping, we may face conflict every day. But you can get through the tunnel of chaos and into the sunlight on the other side. Following are eight practices that skilled negotiators
use to get through the darkness and into a place where decisions can be made, everyone is shown respect and your camp is a bright and thriving ministry.
Maintain Emotional Awareness and Self-Control In my previous example, how did a perfectly nice meeting devolve into someone being called an ugly goat? Folks let go of their emotional self-control. Tey got worked up and the frontal lobes of the brain where logical thought happens shut down. Emotions ruled the day and something regrettable was said. Skilled negotiators are aware of their own emotions
and have emotional self-control. Te learned skill of emotional intelligence is essential for anyone attempt- ing to lead. Tis comes right out of the book of James: Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Emotional self-control is not just a good idea, it is demanded of us in Scripture. Before reacting, take a quiet moment to think or
journal. Don’t vent. Ten, you can figure out what is really going on and move into negotiations with new knowledge of yourself and those around you as a sober-minded negotiator.
Remain Flexible Managing groups with differing ideas requires flexibil- ity and the ability to find solutions that benefit everyone involved. Te problem is that when you are under stress, your brain can lose its ability to be flexible. Logical processing happens in the frontal lobes
of the brain. Te hypothalamus controls the release of hormones. When emotions run hot and the hypo- thalamus flares up, those hormones flood your system, and the frontal lobes just turn off. Tis oſten happens when the group has come to
a place where they must compromise. Compromise requires flexibility. To be flexible negotiators, we must maintain emotional self-control to keep our brains and hormones functioning properly.
Practice Active Listening Te majority of what is communicated between peo- ple is done through nonverbal means. By practicing active listening, you show your team that you value them and their input. There are five elements of active listening that
any leader should strive to excel at: 1. Maintain eye contact.
2. Tink about what the other person is saying. Take notes.
3. Pay close attention to their body language.
4. Ask reflective (open-ended) questions and clarifying questions.
5. Express empathy. Imagine yourself in their shoes.
Skilled negotiators are aware of their own emotions and have emotional self-control.
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www.ccca.org September/October 2024
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