much she loved me and how proud she was of me. She seemed so much better. Why had they called so early to come? We entered silently into her silent


Here! Photo by Pisit Heng on Unsplash By Rev. Howard Wheeler


will be. It takes turns you did not expect. When it seems gone, it reemerges without warning. Sights, sounds, and smells open its locked doors. And like  Gandalf sagely observed, “Alas [Frodo]! There are some wounds that cannot be wholly cured.” We reach for the phone. Or we enter a room forgetting that he is “not here.”


T 8


We see a beautiful vista or recall a shared moment and ache to share it. But she is “not here.” The one who has always been there is “not here.” Death is sur- real. We think we know how we will respond, but it is nothing like the carica- tured response our stories portray.  The phone rang. It was the hospital. Without explanation, we were told to come. We drove in silence. What was happening? At 18, I was not sure what was happening. I had seen her the day before. She had a good day. She had been alert. She told me how


he topography of grief is vast and varied. Your grief may bear a resem- blance to the grief of others, but it is only a resemblance. Your grief is uniquely yours. It is intense and personal, never what you think it


Not


room. Nurses were gathered but no one spoke. There was no humming of medical machinery. Gone were the IVs, the oxygen. She wore a ra- diant peace on her face. Gone were the grimaces of pain. Gone was the struggle to breathe. I knew, but did not know, what was happening. My mind raced. Was she better? Had something remarkable happened? Yet, she was “not here.” A hole had just opened in the fabric of my life so vast it seemed to swallow me. She was gone. She was not here. Our reaction to grief is never what we anticipate. Imagine for a mo- ment those women who went to the tomb so early on the First Day of the Week. They stayed at the foot of the cross until the bitterest of bitter ends. Their beloved teacher, master and       In one last act of love and devotion, they go in the darkness before dawn, to the tomb to care for the body of the one who had cared for them. Their minds turned to questions. How would they roll away the stone?  As they drew near, they met an unexpected scene.  were “perplexed.” Mark records they were “alarmed.” The stone was not just rolled away but cast aside. The tomb was empty. He was gone – not just in grief –really gone! Who would do such a thing? Who would intrude on their grief like this?


An angel appears with a shocking explanation and mild rebuke. Do not be alarmed. You seek Jesus of  risen; he is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going be- fore you to Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you. -Mark 16:6-7


Not here? What can that mean? How can that be? They watched him die. They saw Joseph of Arimathea


The Associate Reformed Presbyterian


Synod Emphasis


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