Play Therapy Relationship | ALYSSA SWAN, PHD, LPC, NCC, RPT


therapy is a relationship. Play therapy offers a unique invitation to children to feel heard, understood, accepted, and seen—just as they are.


I


In play therapy, children are able to express internal emotions


Play through h


play and feel heard and accepted in a relationship with a caring, responsive adult (Landreth, 2012).


a therapy therapists strive to communicate and deeply parents, py


is sacred ground for serious healing.g. Play


the external behavioral changes that stakeholders (e.g.,


effectively trust that hat


administration) observe in children who receive play therapy occur as outcomes of using the therapeutic powers of pllay (Schaefer & Drewes, 2014) and thethe relationship experienced in play therapy.


teachersrs, ho


mes ay


The day I met a small little boy I’ll ca Joseph (pseudonym), he was lying in tthe middle of


alll


refusing to transition back to the classroom.oom. He was surrounded by three adult teachers standing over him, frustrated and helplless talking about his pending expulsion as if heif he


the hallway at his preschool,ool, chers


ess,


wrote this poem to reflect on the transformative impact of unconditional acceptance. Play


In the outside world, I have been judged


so I learned to fear others. I have been unnoticed


so I learned to be closed up. In play therapy,


someone showed me I am accepted


by not judging me. I am worthy


by not treating me as if I’m scary. I am here


by noticing me and what I say. In play therapy,


I learned to trust myself


so that I could trust others. I learned to free myself


so that could I free my view of others. I learned to just be me


so that I could accept myself.


could not hear them. I consulted with the teachers and asked them to refer him to play therapy.


 By the time we terminated our play therapy relationship, Joseph was no longer being suspended from his preschool, which used to be a weekly occurrence. His teachers were speaking fondly of his progress and his new abilities to transition and engage in class, describing him as quite high achieving, rather than a problem child.


Through an accepting, safe, and genuine play therapy relationship, Joseph could just be a child, without relying solely on external aggressive behaviors to feel powerful and in control of his environment. In his play, he consistently displayed themes of mastery, power/control, and relationship. I believe that Joseph trusted that I did not wish him to be different, even when setting limits in the playroom.


Joseph risked trusting me. Joseph allowed himself to be vulnerable and to share his world with me through play, testing his strength and power


www.a4pt.org | June 2019 | PLAYTHERAPY | 37


MEMBER STORYTELLING CLINICAL EDITOR’S COMMENTS:


Like the play therapy relationship, itself, writing poetry can provide insight and healing.


and engaging in creative expressive free play. Over time, Josep


an


Joseph began using his self-created coping skills outside off th


so I learned to judge everything. I have been feared


o the playroom, for example, by asking his teacher for playd playdoh when he was bored in class, instead of running f frorom her. her.


m the room and exhibiting aggressive behavior towards The


e process of accepting children so they can feel freer to en to engage in the full range of their inner resources is truly awe aw -inspiring to me, and this is what I tried to capture in my


my poem. Every day in play therapy, I notice children’s sttre


adults who do not hear them and even for those who hu


hurt them.


InIn moments when I feel overwhelmed, I try to notice my ow


own need to use my inner resources for coping and re- ce


creating sandr


center my trust in children’s capabilities. I practice this se


self-care by writing poetry, journaling, running, painting, c


trays, and hiking. I seek relational


connection with a team of colleagues and friends who m


as kindred spirits. I treasure my relationships with o


characterized by genuineness, empathy,


mutually enjoy consulting and whom I experience a


other play therapists, who are not only my trusted  favorite friends. Play therapists need relationships c


and unconditional positive regard, too.


References Landreth, G (2012). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (3rd ed.). New York, NY: Routledge.


Schaefer, C. E., & Drewes, A. A. (Eds.). (2014). The therapeutic powers of play: 20 core agents of change (2nd ed.). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Alyssa Swan, PhD, LPC, NCC, RPT, is the Associate Clinical Director at the Children’s Home of Poughkeepsie in Poughkeepsie, NY. alymswan2@gmail.com


rengths, even amongst their most sincere efforts to push others away. I am struck by their patience with adu


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