Becoming a Self-Care Queen (or King!) In his foreword, Charles Figley aptly stated, “It takes time to recognize care” (Mathieu, 2012, p. x). Few of us enter this work fully understanding the myriad of ways it can negatively impact our wellbeing, and many of us lose sight of how invasive and detrimental that impact can be are at moderate risk for impaired wellness. Researchers consistently Meany-Walen et al., 2018). However, even though clinicians can name that many trauma therapists do not take the time to engage in leisure or self-care activities. Why does this continue to be the case?
Mathieu (2012) argued that we need to drastically improve self-care to remain effective in our work and in our personal lives. After attending her workshop, “Beyond Kale and Pedicures,” and purchasing The Compassion Fatigue Workbook (Mathieu, 2012), I began to truly understand the importance of self-care, and I started implementing intentional self- care practices by making small changes, like allowing myself to cancel a commitment if I was tired, scheduling breaks between clients, and avoiding the news. Those tiny changes became habits and, as I added more and better self-care practices into my life, I have rediscovered joy in both my work and my personal life. Today, I am proud to call myself a Self-Care Queen, because I recognize and celebrate that I matter and that my wellbeing matters. The better I take care of myself, the better care I can provide to my clients, my supervisees, my family, and others.
Basic Self-Care Basic self-care includes making sure one is getting adequate and restful sleep, eating regularly, and staying hydrated. These are essential needs for baseline functioning, yet many of us fail to meet even these basic human needs, especially when we are stressed and tired; in other words, especially when we need it the most. If we are going to thrive, we need more. Let’s add being playful, spending time outside, and learning how to breathe properly so oxygen is reaching every cell in our body. Furthermore, consider sitting still for 5-10 minutes with a cup of tea, seeking support from a trusted friend or colleague, and going to the
If you’re not sure where to start, conduct an assessment of your current self-care practices. The Self-Care Inventory (Mathieu, 2012, pp. physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, professional) as well as an self-care as a holistic and multi-dimensional practice (Grant, Kinman, & that require some attention, you can focus on one or two things and slowly incorporate them into your life. I encourage you to note activities in each category that will make a difference in how you better care for yourself. With interns and supervisees, we go a step further and create a piece of art (e.g., collage, drawing, painting) as a visual reminder. Play therapists can use their natural playfulness and creativity to have some
22 | PLAYTHERAPY June 2019 |
www.a4pt.org
fun with this; they may be more likely to remember and follow through with a plan when they integrate both left and right hemispheres of the brain in the process. Post that list or piece of art somewhere where you will see it every day or take a photo and save it as the wallpaper on your phone.
Conclusions Although I nearly lost myself in caring for others in the past, I found myself again by practicing self-care. In the intentional, daily practice of journaling, creating art, and walking with my dog, I have felt my spirit renewing and my self returning to me. Mindfulness, connecting with healthy people, running, and practicing yoga give me the personal strength I need to be able to lean into client’s trauma stories and hold hard things for them and with them. In gratitude, through hydration, and in speaking my truth, I have learned to ground myself and make myself in order to continue this sacred work you have been called to carry out?
By implementing self-care
practices that keep our minds, bodies, and relationships healthy, we can more fully be the trauma play therapists we have been called to become.
going on day after day, holding and healing others, if our own proverbial most important tool we have as trauma therapists and perhaps the most neglected. Having healthy boundaries helps us to be better models of self-care for our clients; by practicing what we preach to them, we will understand how challenging incorporating self-care into our life can be and how transformative doing so is.
So, in answer to those who say, “I don’t know how you do it,” I tell them I practice really good self-care. I have been called to do this sacred work and although it is certainly painful and extremely unpleasant to hear the gory details of child abuse and trauma, it is an honor to walk alongside these brave souls and to hold their hands as they struggle to make sense of the unimaginable. Survivors of childhood trauma need us to be their voice. The world needs to hear the truth, to face the dark reality that child abuse and childhood trauma is ever-present and that the cycle of abuse continues largely because adults are uncomfortable talking about it. By implementing self-care practices that keep our minds, bodies, and relationships healthy, we can more fully be the trauma play therapists we have been called to become.
References Dibs in search of Self. New York, NY: Random House. or vicarious trauma: Do they work? Brief Treatment and Crisis Intervention, 6(1), 1-9. doi:10.1093/brief-treatment/mhj001
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56
