It can be clarifying and helpful to conceptualize play therapy cases in terms of primary clients and secondary clients. Drs. Desnoyers, Rice, and Donson (2021) designate parents as “both the patient and not the patient,” describing how a parent experiences their own process alongside their child’s treatment (p. 21). When a play therapist works with a child (primary client), they work with the parent (secondary client), and both of their needs matter. The relationship the play therapist builds with the parent becomes as critical as the relationship built with the child. In addition to encouraging healthy growth within the family system, there is also this stark bottom line: if the therapist does not have a solid relationship with that parent, the parent may terminate therapy for their child (Cates et al, 2006; Solt, 2013). Assuming the family chooses not to go elsewhere for services, this becomes an advocacy and ethics issue when a child cannot get themselves to therapy and yet needs support.
It is important to recognize that when parents as secondary clients need primary support, they are best referred to an adult therapist for their own therapy (Stulmaker & Jayne, 2018; Solt, 2013). When a parent gets needed support, collaborating with the parent’s therapist on behalf of the entire family can be a deeply rewarding experience for all involved, and often offers the play therapist more support and
The Parent Consultation Itself: How, Where,
When, and What How and when a play therapist interacts with the parents of a child client varies widely based on clinical setting. A structure commonly utilized in private practice settings is that of holding separate parent sessions on a regularly scheduled basis. This enables the play therapist to talk freely with parents without the child present – a needs. It also enables the therapist to focus entirely on the parents’ needs and on building a relationship with them during that time, akin to the manner in which a dedicated play session allows the therapist to focus entirely on the child’s needs and the relationship with the child during that time.
A potential rule of thumb is to meet with parents monthly. The monthly parent consultation can take the place of the child’s weekly session, or it may work better to establish a separate time to meet. To effectively manage expectations and boundaries, parents can be informed that outside of safety concerns, the therapist will not be offering feedback on their child’s sessions until the parent consultation session. Explaining to parents at intake that the play therapist will be sharing about their child’s therapy in a contextualized way during these monthly consultation sessions establishes predictability and understanding for parents. This minimizes anxiety, worry, and communication expectations outside of session. Parent
26 | PLAYTHERAPY December 2023 |
www.a4pt.org
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