from the start what communication, both in-person and electronic, will look like. As many divorced caregivers may be operating outside their windows of tolerance, play therapists can lend their own regulated and connected presence to operate as the prefrontal cortex for caregivers by making the unknown known (Dion, 2018).
While there are more ways than those listed above that a play therapist can facilitate the growth of trust and safety with caregivers, the true work of offering cues of safety begins with our own work.
Navigating Our Own Activation When play therapists are working with clients and families whose stories may activate their own histories, they must be able to get this has on the therapeutic relationship. Play therapy, regardless of the theoretical orientation, is a deeply interpersonal process between a pair of humans, each of whom carries their own unique stories, biases, interests, and aliveness (Cozolino, 2021). The idea that we can check our stuff at the door is untrue; who we are and all that comes with that, shows up in every single interaction that we have (Badenoch, 2008; Siegel, 2022).
We receive information, both verbally and non-verbally from caregivers (or any client) when we are well attuned with them. This information passes through the limbic region of our brain, the
meaning-making part of our brain that houses our perceptual biases (Badenoch, 2008). This resonance circuit is also happening within the caregiver as well - meaning the energetic exchange of information is a bidirectional process; I am able to open myself up to the inner world of the parent, and they are also open to experiencing my inner world (Siegel, 2012; Siegel, 2022).
Knowing this, one of the greatest challenges as a play therapist is learning to navigate our own complex inner worlds and vulnerabilities so that our own needs do not impede our ability to offer empathy, curiosity, and unconditional positive regard. Our interpretation of a caregiver's behavior may assign a meaning that may or may not be accurate and the story we tell ourselves around that behavior may prevent us from truly supporting the caregiver’s underlying needs.
Your new referral is a family going through an intense divorce and the child is the same age as you were when your parents’ divorce hurt your own family. During the intake session, the mother begins to share her experiences, detailing the fear, confusion, and anger she is witnessing in her child. Hearing this, your heart begins to beat faster and you feel warm, noticing that it has become harder to focus on what this mother is sharing with you. You are keeping your best “play therapist” face on, but internally, you feel your thoughts start to spin as parts of you connect back to the intensity you experienced at this same age.
12 | PLAYTHERAPY September 2024 |
www.a4pt.org
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