I approached the second session with nervousness and uncertainty but prepared with a plan of limit-setting if my client repeated the     with me. However, the session ended in the same way, where he  


This became the pattern of our sessions. The client would enter the        Then, he would get into the main working stage of the session. Finally, after the 5 minute-warning, he would make sure all toys were 


During our fourth session, the client entered the room and as he picked out swords, he turned to me and said, “You don’t want to be    the child’s experience of me. Because I was aware of my nervousness and uncertainty in the relationship, I could be congruent with myself        emotions and interpreted them as not wanting to be there with him. I 


 he elaborated how he had come to such a conclusion — I had been frowning. I immediately knew the face he had likely seen me making,   


 providing an argument of whether his perception was accurate to my intentions. By maintaining a higher level of congruence through accepting and acknowledging the discomfort I often felt in session with him, I was able to also communicate a higher level of positive regard. I accepted his perception as accurate to his experience of the relationship. I did not try to change his mind to something that would have been more comfortable.


After this short exchange, our session continued to follow its typical pattern. However, at the end, he left the room without tossing the toys  end of most sessions where the toys he engaged with were left where he dropped them, but most toys were still in their places on the shelf. The impact of me demonstrating congruence in our relationship and positive regard towards his experiences and perceptions appeared to free his capacity to accept himself and the uncomfortable emotions that accompanied the end of sessions.


How to Start Deepening the Conditions To start deepening your congruence and UPR as a play therapist, 


of these conditions with your clients. One example would be to spend           challenging to accept in yourself and your clients and then identifying         questions that you may consider as you try to increase your capacity include: • How often am I checking in with my internal reactions to clients during sessions?


• What attitudes, beliefs, and emotions are problematic for me to sit with in my life?


  • What steps can I take to increase congruence in challenging sessions?


  desire?


Conclusion  practice can remind us of the importance of our essential skills as play therapists and provide a nuanced understanding of well- known concepts like congruence, UPR, and empathy. Continual self- awareness is paramount to sustaining therapeutic relationships and         themselves through self-awareness intertwines with their attitudes and beliefs towards clients, shaping their responses and efforts to meet children where they are.


References Faber, B. A., Suzuki, J. Y., & Ort, D. (2022). Understanding and enhancing positive regard in psychotherapy: Carl Rogers and beyond. American Psychological Association. Jayne, K. M. & Ray, D. C. (2015). Therapist-provided conditions in child- centered play therapy. Journal of Humanistic Counseling, 54(2), 86–  Landreth, G. L. (2023). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.


Ray, D. C. (2011). Advanced play therapy: Essential conditions, knowledge, and skills for child practice. Routledge.           therapeutic personality change. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 21(2), 95-103. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-3204.44.3.240


ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Kimberly Autrey, PhD, LMHC, RPT™, NCC, is a core faculty member in the Counselor Education Department at City University of Seattle. Dr. Autrey obtained her Ph.D. from the University of North Texas in 2021. Her research and clinical focus combine play therapy and ecotherapy interventions.


www.a4pt.org | March 2025 | PLAYTHERAPY | 7


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