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or bully. Those in positions of leadership, and let’s face it, in community associations everyone has the opportunity to be a leader, needs to know their own biases and resolve to address each situation with respect as if it really matters for the future of the community.


A couple of Dews and don’ts, I couldn’t resist - my name is Lydia Dews after all.


Dews 1. Know your why 2. Show up at meeting, a little early if possible 3. Be prepared 4. Be open and listen 5. Identify and remove distractions 6. Know your bias


Don’ts 1. Blame anyone 2. Dismiss a bad idea without understanding the why 3. Gossip, belittle or ostracize


These are some ideas on negotiation in complex situations and ones that have lasting effects in our professional and personal life. We may confuse negotiating with winning and losing, but real negotiation allows you to see any situation from a broader perspective, even if your outcome remains unchanged. Unless you become hermit-like you will encounter other people during your personal and professional life. How you choose to experience these encounters has lasting effects on you, your loved ones and the communities we live in. A headache today may be the result of harshly winning a trivial bout with a vendor, community association manager, unit owner or board member last week. Investment in listening to understand another’s point of view allows us to have a better chance at a peaceful and enriching community association experience. We deserve it, we’ve earned it. Today we live with luxuries that could not have been imagined when Lewis & Clark set out to discover new territories. Today we can choose to negotiate not out of scarcity, but abundance. The two-year-old in each of us might have a good reason to wear rainboots on the beach – especially in the Pacific Northwest. Don’t be anchored by your bias to dismiss what you don’t yet understand.


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