JCBA PRESIDENT’S PAGE Hon. Jenifer Ashford, 2023 JCBA President


THE LASSO WAY


alisms. T


It stars Overland Park’s very own BBQ loving Jason Sudeikis, who not only stars in the show, but created it along with Bill Lawrence, Brendan Hunt and Joe Kelly. In the show, Rebecca, coming off a bit-


his last week my husband and I wrapped up the last episode of Ted Lasso. Did you watch this series?


ter divorce, acquires her husband’s most beloved possession, the Richmond Grey- hound Football Club in London, England. Rebecca fi nds herself tabloid fodder, making a terrible situation even worse. In response, Rebecca intends to not only relegate but decimate the team by hiring what she thinks to be a completely incom- petent American football coach coming off a winning season at Wichita State (I know – the Shockers don’t have a football team but don’t get hung up on that). To her surprise, Ted turns the Greyhounds into a winning team, but more important- ly, creates an environment of positivity and respect in the highly competitive and ruthless world of Premier Soccer. Ted faces many challenges through the


three seasons of the show. T e arrogant players who think all the focus should be on them. T e bit er divorcee seeking ven- geance over common sense and their own happiness. T e backstabbing colleague striving for greatness at the expense of others. Ted’s own personal mental health and relationship struggles. Am I still talking about a fi ctional show or a day in the courtroom or at the offi ce? Ted faces each of these challenges with civility and good old fashion colloqui-


4 the barletter July/August 2023


defi nes civility as “civilized conduct or a polite act or expression”. T e American Bar Association defi nes it as “acting with formal politeness and courtesy when com- municating or working with opposing par- ties, opposing counsel, clients, and outside parties”. T at is Ted. No mat er the situa- tion or confl ict, he responds with polite- ness and courtesy. We can learn a lot from Ted. I challenge you to embrace the Lasso Way. T e Lasso Way means you treat staff , colleagues, and opposing counsel with dig- nity, kindness and maybe a lit le good old fashion self-deprecation. “You know what the happiest an-


Merriam-Webster’s dictionary


where, why and how” was doomed to fail. Don’t assume you know. Ask questions. “You say impossible but all I hear


at ributes this quote to Walt Whitman al- though a search at snopes.com disputes this claim. Ted tells a story about being underestimated his entire life. He says “[a] ll them fellas who used to belit le me, not a single one of them was curious. You know, they thought they had everything fi gured out. So they judged everything. And they judged everyone. And I realized that their underestimating me, who I was had noth- ing to do with it. Because if they were cu- rious, they would have asked questions.” I learned this mistake early on in my career as a judge. I failed to ask questions. I would hear about a problem, and I would immedi- ately suggest a solution. My solution, based on my lack of curiosity as to the “who, what,


imal on earth is? It’s a goldfi sh. Ya know why? It’s got a 10-second mem- ory. Be a goldfi sh”. Be a goldfi sh. Don’t hold a grudge. Don’t let what happened a minute ago distract you or cause you to change course. Be responsive and not reac- tive. Rise above it. Stay true to yourself. Do you fi nd yourself replaying conversations with clients/colleagues or ruminating over a court appearance? Or thinking, "Next time I see that person, I’m going to make their life miserable!" Don’t. Be a goldfi sh. “Be curious, not judgmental”. Ted


is I’m possible.” Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. You cannot succeed if you don’t try. As a recent and regularly un- successful applicant for the district court bench, I may need to get this one tat ooed on my arm. In my fi ve times applying for district court judge positions (not count- ing my two applications leading to my be- ing selected as a magistrate judge), I have failed to get an interview with the nom- inating commission the fi rst time, failed to get past the nominating commission twice, and went to the governor twice but not selected. It feels at times impossible. But it’s not. I’m possible. And so are you. Ted even cites court cases. In explaining


the off sides rule in soccer/football he says this: “I’m gonna put it the same way the US Supreme Court did back in 1964 when they defi ned pornography. It ain’t easy to explain, but you know it when you see it.” I would say the opposite is true as well. When it comes to civility, when you don’t see it, you know it. It taints the entire pro- ceeding. It turns a challenging case into a dreaded one. Likewise, when you do see it, you know it. Lack of civility distracts me from the heart of the mat er. Which means I’m not listening at entively to your arguments because I’m distracted by your antics.


zealous. You can zealously represent your client while being civil. In fact, I think you will fi nd more success in your practice and in life when you act with civility. Let’s all practice the Lasso Way. Be a


goldfi sh. Be curious. You are possible. You’ll know it when you see it.


Incivility is not synonymous to


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