Many parents (and some therapists) cringe at the thought of children playing with water inside an office or home, unless the child is in a bathtub! As I watched Sammy, a 6-year-old girl, mixing paint colors and shaving cream, I too wondered what the therapeutic value of this mess would be and if she should be utilizing these materials. This moment is the point where I remembered the value of sensory play prompts children to be creative and to engage by providing an opportunity where the process is as significant as the finished product. Children have an instinctual drive to suppress painful
events (Gil, 2006; Goodyear-Brown, 2010). Children will avoid talking and even thinking about traumatic experiences as an attempt to escape anxiety; however, play can be inherently appealing and cathartic. Play is a child’s natural way to express feelings and reestablish a sense of control over uncontrollable situations such as when their parents’ divorce or separate. Children from divorcing families often feel confused about the reasons for the divorce, conflicting feelings about breaking up the family, shame about the separation, loyalty conflicts, anger, loss, and self-blame (Cangelosi, 1997; Lowenstein, 2013). The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (2014) stated that custody battles exacerbate these feelings and add a real or imaginary pressure to “choose” sides. Children may hear parents arguing and believe that they must side with one parent. Now, imagine a child consciously choosing to avoid talking about these thoughts and feelings. Eliana Gil described a “‘pressure cooker’ effect” (Gil, 2006, p. 9). Initially the child gets relief from suppressing thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Just as a ball, held underwater, will eventually pop up, eventually these thoughts, feelings, and sensations will “explode,” leaving the child feeling helpless. Sammy’s parents divorced when Sammy was an infant.
stabilization during treatment (Goodyear-Brown, 2010; Lowenstein, 2013; Myrick & Green, 2014). In our initial Client-Centered Play Therapy sessions, Sammy would lock the playroom door, make all the pictures in the office crooked, and set a trap for the intruder. The world appeared chaotic and unsafe. On her eighth session, Sammy no longer needed to lock the door or set a trap. The playroom was safe for her to process her feelings of anger and assert some power in the playroom. She would place her hands in the sand; which gave her power to beat up Bop Bag (a bag used to release pent-up anger). Sammy would yell at Bop Bag stating, “You say mean
Sensory play prompts children to be creative and to engage by providing an opportunity where the process is as significant as the finished product.
Sammy’s visits to her father are limited to twice a year because he lives in another state. Sammy’s father was unhappy with this arrangement, but not Sammy’s mother. Her parents relied on the court to resolve visitation disagreements. Sammy began services soon after the court hearing. During the intake process, mom reported that when Sammy returned from dad’s house, Sammy exhibited temper outbursts, insisted on locking her bedroom door, had nightmares, wet the bed, and cried for up to one month. When I asked Sammy about her parent’s divorce and visitations, she stated, “Shh, we are not talking about that.” Therapists should visit and revisit issues of safety and
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things.” Themes of bad verses good appeared. The bad girl would hurt the good girl, or bad guys would say bad words and steal things. At first, the bad guys won, but as themes evolved, the bad guys would be punished. The world appeared to becoming safer because the “bad guys” were now contained. Sammy was in charge of each play session. For example, she would order the therapist to draw with marker and stated in an angry voice, “If you don’t listen, I will be mad at you!” After the drawing was complete, she would state, “This is not the way it should be.” Children from divorced homes may use perfectionism as a way of coping with family distress (VanFleet, 1997). Children may believe they are to blame for their parents’ arguments, so they must be perfect to avoid conflicts. Children may feel their world is out of control so they use perfectionism to create a sense of control over life.
March 2015 | PLAYTHERAPY 7
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