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responding, “I just meant in general, I’ve seen these dogs in the neighborhood leave their droppings around and no one picks up after them. Our homeowners association has rules that owners have to pick up after their pets but some people must feel that these rules don’t apply to them.”


The audience boos again.


“Well Mitzi,” Jerri begins, “We hope to be able to help you today.” The audience claps.


“How?” asks Mitzi. “Are you going to hire us a dog waste removal company?”


“That’s a good option,” Jerri said. “But this is the wrong show for that… try 2 sound stages over at Harpo.”


Laughter from the audience. “No,” Jerri continues. “What we have in store for you today is a different kind of surprise. We happen to have all 3 of the dogs that you mentioned backstage. You can confront them here today and ask them yourself!” Jerri nods to a stagehand to bring out the dogs.


The audience roars with pleasure and stomp their feet in approval while a stagehand brings out 3 large dog beds.


“First up is Spots the Dalmatian!” Jerri announces. A full- grown Dalmatian bounds on to the stage, sniffs around and attempts to chew on Mitzi’s chair before Steve Milkbones, Jerri’s head of security, distracts him with a treat and settles him on a red dog bed.


www.cai-illinois.org • 847.301.7505 | 13


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